{"id":1106,"date":"2025-05-16T19:07:45","date_gmt":"2025-05-16T19:07:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/?p=1106"},"modified":"2025-05-18T08:30:08","modified_gmt":"2025-05-18T08:30:08","slug":"men-your-reaction-to-abuse-allegations-says-more-about-you-than-you-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/16\/men-your-reaction-to-abuse-allegations-says-more-about-you-than-you-think\/","title":{"rendered":"Men, Your Reaction To Abuse Allegations Says More About You Than You Think"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

It\u2019s been a heavy week online as stories of abuse involving high-profile men and Black women in the public eye have resurfaced and unfolded in real time. On May 13, singer Cassie Ventura took the stand in the federal trial against Sean \u201cDiddy\u201d Combs<\/a>, detailing the horrific abuse she experienced during their 10-year relationship. Combs faces charges of racketeering and sex trafficking<\/a> as prosecutors allege that Combs ran a criminal enterprise built on control, coercion, and exploitation. Cassie, who previously filed a civil lawsuit against Combs<\/a> in November 2023, is now a key witness in the criminal case. In the same week, news broke that Halle Bailey has been granted a temporary restraining order against her ex-boyfriend<\/a>, rapper DDG (real name Darryl Dwayne Granberry Jr.), following allegations of domestic abuse. She\u2019s now been given temporary sole custody of their son, Halo Saint, with images from her police report circulating online. Also, after rapper Tory Lanez was reportedly attacked in prison<\/a> this week, Megan Thee Stallion\u2019s case resurfaced. In 2022, Tory Lanez was convicted of shooting Megan<\/a> in the foot after a party in 2020 and is now serving a 10-year sentence, bringing back memories of the years of public scrutiny, victim-blaming, and online abuse she faced in the aftermath.<\/p>\n

While the bravery of these women has been widely applauded, much of the online conversation that has followed is deeply triggering, especially for those who have been victims of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. Social media platforms such as X have become forums for some, men in particular, to dismiss, downplay, or even justify the abuse allegations at hand. As a result, many have been confronted with harmful opinions from partners, family members, and friends as these stories of abuse have unfolded. As one X user shared<\/a>: \u201cEmphasizing to women, especially the young ones, that a basic litmus test for a man you\u2019re considering dating is to ask him his thoughts on Tory, Diddy, R Kelly, DDG, etc.\u201d \u200b\u200b<\/p>\n

The internet has become an increasingly unsafe space for mature, empathetic discussions about the dynamics between an alleged victim and their abusers. When news broke about Halle Bailey\u2019s restraining order against DDG, the response online was full of skepticism and ridicule. One man on X wrote, \u201cShe lyin on him, I don\u2019t even believe this shit. DDG don\u2019t even give off women-beater energy.\u201d<\/a> This wasn\u2019t an isolated comment. Across social media, similar posts pointed to past allegations by DDG\u2019s ex, Rubi Rose, to argue Halle \u201cshould have known better.\u201d<\/p>\n

The unspoken message here is clear: because she chose to enter a relationship with someone previously accused of abuse, she should have expected \u2014 and therefore deserved \u2014 any abuse that followed. Victim blaming always shifts accountability away from the alleged abuser and suggests that a woman\u2019s decision to love or trust someone somehow invalidates her right to safety.<\/p>\n

Another X user wrote<\/a>, \u201cI love Halle, but she\u2019s not perfect. She\u2019s constantly using her female privilege over him, and it\u2019s beyond visible at this point.\u201d It\u2019s a telling comment, one that twists concern for a woman\u2019s safety into an accusation of manipulation. \u201cFemale privilege\u201d seemingly implies that women can weaponize their victimhood or control the narrative to their advantage. But the reality, as ironically proven by this tweet, is quite the opposite.<\/p>\n

These reactions mirror talking points found in the online manosphere<\/a>, the network of forums, podcasts, and content creators who frame women, especially Black women, as manipulative and deceitful. As we know, these ideas don\u2019t just stay online; they\u2019re echoed in comment sections, barbershops, and group chats, shaping how some men justify abuse.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

These reactions [online] reflect a deeper, insidious belief: that \u201cgood\u201d women don\u2019t end up in these situations, and if they do, it\u2019s because they somehow deserve it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n

Another common theme in online reactions this week is the belief that women somehow invite abuse or shame upon themselves because of their choices around sex and relationships. This kind of thinking frames women as sexual deviants who have brought trouble on themselves. We\u2019ve seen the tweets from men questioning whether Cassie\u2019s husband, Alex Fine, should leave her, as if surviving abuse makes her unworthy of love. Others shame Halle for having a child outside of marriage, as though that decision invalidates her right to safety and dignity. These reactions reflect a deeper, insidious belief: that \u201cgood\u201d women don\u2019t end up in these situations, and if they do, it\u2019s because they somehow deserve it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

People online are all too excited to score gotcha<\/em> moments and throw around moral judgments meant to humble women. It\u2019s really just victim-blaming, and a lot of this is reminiscent of red pill ideology<\/a>, a belief that paints women as using sex and emotions to control men. In this vein, a woman\u2019s right to safety is always up for debate, conditional, and depends largely on how she behaves.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Many of the online responses that have been so disappointing are, unsurprisingly, rooted in misogynoir \u2014 a form of misogyny directed specifically at Black women, shaped by both anti-Blackness and sexism. Misogynoir casts Black women as less innocent, more sexually deviant, and ultimately more deserving of harm. These ideas can be traced back to colonial narratives that hypersexualized Black women, stripping them of the femininity, vulnerability, and presumed victimhood that are more readily extended to white women.<\/p>\n

Sona Barbosa, Head of Therapeutic Services at Woman\u2019s Trust<\/a>, says this kind of language online has real-world consequences. She explains how public narratives can fuel longstanding patterns, telling Unbothered: \u201cThe language we are observing reflects a long-standing pattern of idolizing successful Black men, while quickly doubting, diminishing, and demonizing women\u2014especially Black women\u2014who stand up for themselves and reclaim their power in the face of violence and abuse.\u201d<\/p>\n

She says this situation puts Black survivors at a \u201cdouble disadvantage\u201d. In abusive relationships, already-complex cultural and economic pressures are compounded by narratives that sow doubt and shame. According to Sona, \u201cthis trend poses an even greater threat, as white men observe the responses of Black men and feel empowered to treat Black women in similar ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

All of this has reiterated the need to support women and girls, build a society that\u2019s actually safe for us, and make sure victims get justice, because one person\u2019s success should never come at the expense of others in our community.<\/p>\n

Back in 2020, I read Men Who Hate Women<\/em> by Laura Bates and it opened my eyes to something I\u2019ve since seen for myself; misogyny online don\u2019t just stay hidden in obscure corners of the internet like incel forums, Reddit threads and 4chan. A lot of toxicity has filtered into the mainstream, influencing how the boys and men around us talk in group chats, among themselves, and when commenting on high-profile cases like the ones that have filled our news feeds this week.<\/p>\n

What we\u2019re seeing online is making many of us look more closely at the men in our lives; listening carefully, side-eyeing, correcting, and for some, even rethinking a friendship or two. For me, the way the men around me speak about or dismiss abuse tells me where they stand, how safe and supported I really am, and whether I can trust them. So it\u2019s no surprise to see Black women online saying they\u2019re cutting ties when certain friends show who they truly are.<\/p>\n

To my fellow Black women, this week has been a lot. It\u2019s okay if you need to step back, log off, and take care of yourself. <\/p>\n

If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call the <\/em>National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/em><\/a> at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support. <\/em><\/p>\n

This article was originally published on Unbothered UK<\/em><\/p>\n

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s been a heavy week online as stories of abuse involving high-profile men and Black women in the public eye have resurfaced and unfolded in real time. On May 13, singer Cassie Ventura took the stand in the federal trial against Sean \u201cDiddy\u201d Combs, detailing the horrific abuse she experienced during their 10-year relationship. Combs Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1108,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fashion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1106"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1109,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1106\/revisions\/1109"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.habitaliaimobiliaria.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}